The power of saying no can be simply life-changing. Whether you are a believer in this concept or not, it depends on the situations you’ve been involved in. For instance, some people who have been subjected to situations where they feel uncomfortable may have felt pressured to say “yes” in the first place. Sadly, this is become more common, although, more light is being shed on the “if I feel like staying home, then I will” with the Millennial generation.
If you were to type into your search engine “saying no” you’ll uncover around 5,360,000,000 results. Nearly all revolve around ‘gently saying no’. It’s not that the human species doesn’t want to interact (it may feel like that at times) but it comes down to “wanting to impress and pressure“. This happens in forms of peer pressure, the pressure to seem more interesting, family pressure, friends, etc. Eventually, the majority of us fit into the “people pleaser” category, we hate letting anyone down and intend on being the one friend/family/work member who is reliable enough to cover any function or need.
Why Do We Feel The Need To Be A “People Pleaser”
The psychology from being a “people pleaser” can stem from childhood or recent developments in your life. Let’s take a look at the most recent possible attributes:
- Noticing a work colleague who ends up receiving more recognition for being “overly reliable”
- Becoming the therapist or voice of reason when it comes to your group of friends
- Have family members been picking out another sibling’s success but, not recognizing your own?
- Suddenly have the feeling that if you don’t say “yes” to something you may miss the opportunity?
The list above can easily become unmanageable and create an unsteady balance between down-time and knowing when to say yes.
How To Say No
When it comes to the power of no, there is a way of standing your ground without being hostile. For instance Kenny Nguyen’s TED Talk “The Art of Saying No” demonstrates how “saying no” eventually led to the CEO knowing what big ventures in his life would require a “yes” answer.
Essentially by applying “no” to certain areas of your life also create healthy boundaries as well. Another TED Talks this time with Sarri Gilman’s “Good Boundaries Free You” educate you towards setting the right boundaries in your relationships which can lead to a healthier life and even lifestyle.
You Are Not Being A Debbie Downer or a Buzz Kill
Who hasn’t been met with the responses above? While some may be joking around when they say “Oh you are just being a buzz kill” or “stop being a Debbie Downer“. This can ultimately paint a depressive portrait in our own minds. This is a form of self-sabotage. Do not feel bad for saying no. Whether you have prior commitments or need downtime; do not allow another to force you towards a negative self-image.
Once you understand the power of saying no, building healthy boundaries, and understanding when to say yes… there will be fewer limitations. Stand up for yourself and embrace how “no” can change your life for the better.