Children. They’re the gift that keeps on giving. They have the ability to bring happiness and joy to a family, but there are certain questions you need to ask yourself before taking such a big step to becoming a father. There are many repercussions and responsibilities that come along with parenthood, some of which don’t directly affect the family; others have a more obvious impact. These 5 reasons should be taken into consideration when asking yourself whether you should take on the role of a parent.
1. They’re Killing the Planet
It might sound a bit dramatic, but there’s truth behind this. As the human population increases, people consume more resources. Whether it’s food, energy, or water, more people results in more consumption. The 7 billion people already on the planet are using a vast amount of resources while reserves of essential energy deposits are depleting. Why is this a bad thing? Well, overpopulation can lead to water, food and resource shortages, damage to the environment (think ozone depletion and global warming), overharvesting of animals (which leads to species extinction), and higher possibilities of disease outbreaks. While it’s difficult to see the immediate risks of having children, considering the negative consequences of population growth and the effects that it could have on younger generations might make you second guess your decision.
2. They’re Expensive
You’ve heard this one before. Between diapers, formula, clothes, food, furniture, and hospital costs, children can be very expensive. And then there are college funds, cars, and more food to worry about as children grow into teenagers. A recent report by the USDA (apparently child expenses fall under the same scope as agriculture) states that it costs average-earning Americans $234,000 to raise a child for 17 years, with housing, education, and food being the highest expenses. This number varies by state, of course, with the most expensive states being in the urban northeast. As noted, this number is the average cost, but the price can vary greatly depending on income level with the report stating:
“A family earning less than $59,410 per year can expect to spend a total of $169,080 (in 2011 dollars) on a child from birth through high school. Similarly, middle-income parents with an income between $59,410 and $102,870 can expect to spend $234,900; and a family earning more than $102,870 can expect to spend $389,670.”
As presented by these staggering numbers, it is evident that children can be great financial burdens.
3. They Take Time
Along with being expensive, children are also a huge responsibility. Parents have to invest a lot of time into teaching children essential skills and values, and this often means sacrificing their own passions and needs. Of course, that’s what parenting is about, but a significant amount of pregnancies are unexpected. For young people, an unexpected pregnancy might force the parents to stifle their career ambitions or put certain aspects of their lives on hold.
4. They Can Strain Relationships
It’s no secret that raising children is a serious time commitment, but the idea that children can break up marriages and relationships is almost taboo. But it’s true. Bringing children into a relationship changes a lot of things. Whether it causes sexual frustration, financial duress, or simply more arguments, these issues can result in the separation of two people. Discussing possible concerns beforehand is always a smart move because, to put it bluntly, assuming that parenthood won’t affect a relationship is simply unwise.
5. You Don’t Want Them
This is probably the most rational explanation. Becoming a father isn’t a decision that should be made on a whim; it requires deliberation and thought in order to reach a consensus. One of the biggest mistakes for adults to make is to have children that they don’t want or aren’t ready for. This could lead to divorce – not just from your spouse – but from the child, too. Essentially, you’re doing a disservice to an innocent child. Perhaps this is one cause of the high divorce rate in the United States, as well as the high percentage of single mothers.
Considering these 5 important reasons could definitely lead to a more coherent and intelligent decision. In the meantime, consider the contraceptive options available so that you don’t have any surprises.
Featured photo by mith17
Kids are filthy, rotten, spoiled germ spreaders. It’s not so much the kids as it is the horrible parents. I don’t need a mini-me! I have a great life and don’t want to sacrifice a damn thing to raise a kid. Call me selfish but I can come and go as I please and pretty much do as I want. I don’t have to cater to some little kid. Point blank, kids are a pain in the ass and suck the life out of you. I don’t want to have to train/teach someone to be a responsible adult. If you have kids, it is pretty much guaranteed that at least one or more of them will be a screw up. Just go to walmart and look at the adults there. I will enjoy the rest of my life without some needy, whiny, messy, self-entitled and bratty ass kids!
Yeah… Your parents obviously screwed you up terribly.
I feel sorry for you because you not only don’t want kids but call them whiny, messy and bratty. Perhaps you are just reflecting yourself?
I hope you grow up enough to not insult children who are the most innocent and beautiful thing on the planet.
But children don’t stay innocent and beautiful. Too many of them grow up to become dangerous adults.
I guess people dont realize they were once kids too?
So……because we were once kids ourselves, we all should have kids?
If u are concerned about animals going distinct because of over population you should go into a clinic and get medication because u are loosing your mind. Kids are the most wonderful thing in this world.
Until they become adults……
I take only one point up against this article (though I could take many) you state formula is expensive, breast milk is free…..
Wow …. I seriously can’t believe how ridiculous everyone sounds ! EVERYONE on this earth has a right to believe in whatever they want be it Scientology,athiest , catholic, booda or Satan … Who are we to judge anyone ? Only people we need to worry about are ourselves, and what we need to do for ourselves in order to make sure we live a life that makes us happy , Healthy and free . and if you have children worry about making sure your child/children don’t grow up to be murderer’s or sex offenders or whatever it is that will deem them untrustworthy or dangerous , do your best , thats all you can do , but if your goal is to have children and live on the system where the government is your only source of income .. Re think your decision , think about what its teaching your children and what kind of example your setting for our future generation. Don’t get me wrong though I’m not saying people on income assistance are bad parents ( I myself have needed the help before but it was my very last resource when I was unable to work ) welfare is there for people who need HELP it shouldn’t be used as a way to live just cus you have babies ..
Children are killing the earth …, thats a bit absurd .. ALL of the humans on earth are what’s killing it , its not just the new generations , I do hope our future generations will turn things around and fix the problems we have made not that they should have to .. But because we have damaged it so much that it’s gonna take many generations to come to fix it , also .. Yes , children are expensive .. But why let that stop you ? Education is expensive .. Is it a reason to not fulfill a full education ? ….” No” so why ould the cost of raising a child be a reason to never have one , you make it work , if having children isn’t your thing .. So be it .. Who are we to judge ? … I read every single comment on this article and being a 26 year old married mother of two all I can say is having children is hard it truly is but I take pride in knowing that I’m giving it my everything to raise my children with respect , kindness, dignity , honor , and to know you have to Work Hard for what you want not everything is handed on a silver platter , I am raising my chdren to know the benefits of being a good person , contributing to help make the earth better , to not bully to be and to let other be who they are to believe in what they want to and not have to worry about that other think or to believe in something just because someone else says that is what they Have to believe in , I want and I am doing my best to making sure my children grow up to be someone they are proud of , gay, bi., transgender whatever I don’t care , cus I love and will always ALWAYS love them no matter what . but please don’t tell my why I should not have children its very disrespectful and inconsiderate . you have your believes and standard and I have mine , I choose to have children , I can’t adopt .. I make enough money to raise my family but I don’t make enough money to adopt. if adoption wasnt so hard I’m sure a lot less children would be orphans , ugh I could go on and on about everything buuuuuuut I won’t but I will say this , children are our future we need to do our job in making sure we do our best to raise our children to do better and not make the same mistakes we have/ are . I wish the Best of luck , joy and happiness to absolutely everyone
What a F…!!Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.Psalm 127:3-5
People don’t listen what they are saying about our kids.Everyone dreams to have a baby or child.I will go for the Bible and not what people are thinking or telling.
Not everyone dreams to have a baby. Just because YOU do and all your friends do doesn’t mean that you are representative of a cross-section of the world as a whole.
How dare you try to make people feel less of themselves just because they are aware that parenthood isn’t right for them? Who do you think you are? I have a feeling your bible doesn’t teach you arrogance. So when you read that thing, read it with YOU in mind, not just how you can one-up everybody else.
I can’t even….
And if you are not equipped to raise the “heritage from the Lord,” then you are not doing the Lord’s work.
For some reason, it has become so normal to speak how difficult and expensive and time consuming it is to have children. Is it because we have more immature adults than in past generations?
Or maybe it’s because the world is becoming more overpopulated and resources are becoming more scarce.
United States accounts for only 4.45% of the world’s population, yet it produces the second highest carbon footprint in the world at 18.27%.
That’s more that the emission of India (2nd highest population in the world), Indonesia (4th), Brazil (5th), Pakistan (6th), Nigeria (7th), Bangladesh (8th) and Russia (9th), combined, at just 14.97%. That to me suggests that it’s not the children killing the planet. I think its us adults. If the small selfish segment of the population continues to breed, even if they just have one child, then yes the planet will die.
And children become adults.
Let’s face it-some people ARE NOT cut out to be parents, or have children for the wrong reasons. That’s what this article is addressing, no the welfare mom’s, ect. We have 4 children-2 teenagers and 2 small ones, and I can honestly say, not a single one was planned. Contraceptives were in use(medical and laytex) at the time when all 4 were concieved, and we’re currently in the process of adopting my 4 year old neice. Yes, children are VERY expensive and time consuming-but the loss of time and expendable resources doesn’t counterbalance the joy from having them. They weren’t expected, but they are cared and provided for and are overall great kids. The example of my neice is the best basis I can provide for certain people NOT having children-her mother had 5 kids, all of which are in state care, by 3 different men. Her parent’s shouldn’t have had children either-all 4 of their children are currently in prision for long term sentences. Sadly, the readily available welfare system in this country gives women reason and encourages irresponsible pregnancy(more kids = more benefits) and then all we’re doing is breeding another generation of children that won’t work and will be well educated on how to live off other people(taxpayers fund welfare). It doesn’t matter if you care for your kids or not-you have 6 so let’s give you more welfare-and you can’t work with 4 lil ones at home, so we’ll pay you some more. It’s just encouraging procreation by a group of individuals that can’t and won’t work. Yes, I have more then the recomended amount of children, and am contributing to the overpopulation of the world by having 4, but I’m also raising those children to work, provide for themselves and values to help raise a BETTER group of individuals, in addition to voluntaraly taking in another child who’s parents utilized the OPTION to have children to recieve free food and housing. Overpopulation could be cured or at least curtailed by a severe overhaul and tightening on welfare restrictions, especially in reference to work performed, crimes comitted, and children had. Best example-Octomom.
After suffering from an abusive childhood, I felt born the day my first son was born(I was 20). The overwhelming joy of love and the bond I felt for him transformed my life. I planned my two other babies, each two years apart. Their young days were the most joyous of my life. I taught them, honestly, self-confidence, independence, humor. Taught them all math by teaching them how to cook and measure when they were very little and my oldest used to make all the Holiday pies from scratch even the crust. and was a math whiz who tutored Jr. High kids. We took them everywhere, camping, boating, skiing, hiking, Lake Tahoe every 4th of July. Sequoia, Yosemite. Their friends were always at my house and the sound of laughter filled the days. My son graduated with a degree in Economics(my oldest) but then decided he wanted to fly jets. He trained, joined the Marines and became an officer at the age of 23. He was a pro marksman and considered a lethal weapon in military martial arts. He flew solo became a 2nd Lt and sadly died 6 months ago. My world shattered and part of me died. My children were everything. He was fearless, charismatic, patriotic, extraverted and sensitive. Having children was the best thing that ever happened to me.
meant I was 29 years old when I had him
Wow, Jolynn, you are an amazing mother! Your son sounds like he was an incredible guy. Thank you for bringing people like that into the world. I am very sorry that your son was taken from you 🙁 I feel very inspired reading your post, hope to try to be a good parents too if I decide to have kids one day.
everyone has a right to choose, and hopefully people choose to have babies for the right reasons, some people have surprises, some surprises are loved some unfortuntaley are not.
i am lucky enough to have 2 planned kids, no more for me now two under two is enough chaos, my husband has been fixed. I appreciate that they are gonna become horrific teenagers (i was one lols) so hopefully ill now how to handle them. sticky toddler kisses and hugs are delightful, but what is really hard at the minute is lack of sleep, one 2 year old and 1 6 month old, plus at present the delights of not being able to drive. I work, have worked all my life as has my husband, we made sure all our debts were paid and we saved up to have kids. we use cloth nappies, i breastfeed, and make all food from scratch, kids can be expensive. we dont have tv so no adverts and at the moment they are too young for mithering. We are “trying” to instill imagination and playing out versus playstation 3s etc, mainly because we cant afford them. We have second hand toys and clothes- nowt’ wrong in that babies are barley in clothes and although we are pretty poor we are happy. the 5 of us, mum dad 2 babies and dog. i wouldnt change it for anything in the world.. apart from at 4 am when my toddler thinks its morning! then i wish i had a condom and a time machine.
kids are yin and yang, they have great moments and horrific moments, if you know you wouldnt be able to hack them, then kudos to you for admitting it. not being paternal/ maternal is frowned upon nowadays. Everyone is different. everyone is entitled to be different. the world would be a boring place if we were all the same. I hope im doing right by my kids, i may find in a few years time my methods have had the opposite effect, its hard to know, but we try our best. When they are older i plan to foster some kids.. share the love with those that need them.
i know its very “twee” but when you have had a baby you are in an oxytocin bubble, its true! there is nothing like having a little one give you a cuddle. Luckily in my case that can extend to babies that i hope to look after.
this article isnt wrong or right, its simply asking people to put a bit more thought into their actions which is always a good thing i think 🙂 people have this idyllic image of what children will be like, they are hard work, your patience does get tested but you have to try and see the world through their little eyes. it is a massive responsbility and one that can feel overwhelming at times. In britain we are being encouraged to breed as families are not having many children hence the native britains are in decline. however we also have a massive foster parent shortage.
I think you are shortchanging your children assuming they will become “horrific teenagers”. Teach them to love and respect you and themselves and you might be pleasantly surprised. Not all teens are monstrous and you assuming yours will be just because your parents allowed YOU to be isn’t fair.
You can’t predict how your children will turn out. Just because you teach your children to love and respect others doesn’t mean they will do so.
As a male you should alspo consider: the chances of relationship break down are high. As a male your wife / partner could choose top leave you and make it very difficult and expensive for you to have a full relationship with your children.
Well said. And what about the fact that the children suffer when there isn’t a father in their lives? The vast majority of people in prison grew up in single mother households.
Each child born on earth makes it more difficult for everyone to live here. It doesn’t matter if you live in Australia, or Texas, or anywhere else. Each child will use a certain amount of oil, burn a certain amount of coal, use a certain amount of water, etc.
I think everyone should voluntarily limit themselves to one childbirth. So, a couple would voluntarily have a maximum of two children (one per adult). If everyone did this, the earth’s population would slowly go down (some will have only one child, some none, and some children will die before they can have children). Something like 1 billion people on earth would be much more manageable for the resources that earth provides, instead of the high numbers of people that we have.
We have two children, and even though we can afford them, they still will use a LOT of resources! I think adopting children is a great idea, especially if you want children but can’t have your own.
I LUV being a dad, but it is NOT for everyone. Two sets of my aunts and uncles do not have children, by choice, and they are VERY happy with that decision. Another of my aunts/uncles adopted two children as they couldn’t have any…good for them!
God loves everyone: parents, adults without children, and the children themselves. God made our universe, and our earth, to live in. BUT, he gave us free will. If we use our free will to use up most of the resources on our earth by over populating it, we can make if VERY difficult on ourselves to live here.
If you want your children, and their children, etc., to have the best chance at a “good” life, then don’t have a lot of children!
God bless, and Namaste
I agree in some ways.ppl who want to have kids that’s fine but please limit yourselves to like one two or maybe three. Maria is probably on assistance. Anyways that’s why there are a lot of single parents and guys having a lot of baby moms. Guys should get visectomys for free!
And let’s not forget the gals with numerous baby daddies. It’s amazing how many young girls have babies for the wrong reasons. One asked, “If I keep my baby, do I still have to go to school to collect welfare?” Another asked, “Does the government give me a nanny because my mom said she won’t babysit and I don’t want to look old when I go to the mall?” OMG!!!!!!
THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE.. IT IS RUDE AND DISTURBING. I AM A MOTHER OF THREE BEAUTIFUL KIDS AND I LOVE THEM THEY ARE THE LIGHT IN MY EYES AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE THAT UP. I AM 23 YEARS OLD AND I TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS MYSELF I DON’T NEED MY MOM OR MY MOTHER IN LAW. THAT IS MY JOB AND ALSO MY HUSBAND. I MIGHT BE A YOUNG MOTHER BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT I WOULD GIVE THE WORLD TO MY KIDS. THEY MIGHT BE EXPENSIVE BUT IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. WHEN YOU GIVE THEM A PLATE OF FOOD AND THEY SAY THANK YOU MOMMY… THAT MELTS MY HEART WHEN I BUY THEM A TOY OR CLOTHS AND THEY ARE HAPPY FORGET WHAT I SPENT THAT MAKES MY HAPPY… BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT IS WHEN WE HUG, KISS AND SAY I LOVE YOU THAT IS JUST THE WORLD TO ME . WHEN NIGHT COMES I I TUCK THEM IN AND THEN READ THEM A BED TIME STORY AND THEY FALL ASLEEP THAT IS PRICELESS. I AM A PROUD MOTHER.
Three kids at 23? Yikes. Hope you’ve had your tubes tied. Also, enough with the caps. It makes you look crazy.
lmfao yes Maria, this entire article was aimed at you and YOUR kids! I’m glad you saw through this who ~journalist~ facade and defended your precious babbies.
I agree with Maria (on June 2 @ 6:30). This is really disturbing, selfish and wrong. What would have happened if his mother had thought like that? The author wouldn’t be writing this, of course. The author has not read about what the end result of such thinking is. It will bring about the demise of the country and values that shaped the country to begin with. I’ve read that it takes about 3 children to replace yourself and keep the economy viable. I’m all for adopting if you can’t have children or want more..don’t get me wrong. What’s more is that after working in the healthcare field for many years I still am appalled when I see someone at the end of their life with no one to be there for them. They have no children, all their family members have passed on and it’s just them on their death bed. No one to care for them. It’s sad! Having children and raising them well is worth doing well and the rewards are out of this world.
So people should just have kids without thinking about it? That’s a good plan.
I am with you there, randomly having kids is not a good plan. Not saying that unplanned children are a huge burden, but you should consider the consquences before having child after child after child and then saying “OH, I HAVE NO MONEY” or the famous, “I HAVE KIDS I DON’T HAVE TIME”… you chose to have the kids… don’t complain about your loss of time.
This is not rude in anyway. It’s not telling people to not have kids, it’s just giving some foreground to those who decide they don’t want them. RELLLLAAXXXXXXXX!
No one is attacking YOUR decision to have kids. All this article is doing is defending the RIGHT that everyone has to CHOOSE. If you are so darn happy with your life what should you care about an article like this. Your response says a lot about you as a person. Please teach your kids to be open minded.
Humans are the real parasites on the Earth! 🙂
This article is disturbing on many levels. The consequence of this kind of thinking will result in an empty life, full of self indulgence, introspection, selfishness, transient pleasure in material things but ultimately devoid of love. The logical extension of this way of thinking results in abortions and broken hearts. Contraception is touted as the magic bullet, but the only 100% sure way not to fall pregnant or get someone pregnant is abstinance, or ‘keeping it in your pants’ as another commentater puts it so nicely. The problem is that the basis of this article is selfish selfindulgence, then to give up sex..well that does not quite fit.
Overpopulation, enviornmentalism is a convenient argument, but baseless if you look just a little more closely. The reality is not an overpopulation, but a greying population where life expentancy has almost doubled in the last 60 years, leading to a one time surge in world population which will correct itself in the next 20 or so years, leaving a dying population in most countries of the first world. The countries with the higher birth rates have both lower life expectancy and a much lower carbon footprint than your typical truck driving beer swilling single male, who is so enviornmentally virtuous by not wanting children…
Its a delusion folks. Kids sure are hard work and there is no upper limit to how much they can cost (but that depends a lot on the parents). A relationship between selfish people will be shakey without children, and may break apart after the birth of a child (or the parents may grow up quick).
But but kids are a source of unselfish love, innocent pleasure, real joy, big hugs, they are something genuine and true. A shame to miss out on, because by the time you are sick and tired of living the life of a playboy / playgirl you might just be too old and jaded to be a parent.
This comment is disturbing and highly offensive on many levels. You are making quite a few assumptions about people who choose not to have children.
Do you honestly believe that all childfree people live the life of a playboy/playgirl, need to “keep it in their pants” and that anyone without children behaves like “your typical truck driving beer swilling single male”?
What about two adults living in a committed, monogamous relationship, taking care of their home and family. Contributing to their community and using their time to help others. Having the time and money to enjoy their relationship with one another and also indulge on occasion. Does choosing not to have children really negate all of this? How does that one decision automatically make my life self indulgent, empty and devoid of love?
Are you saying that the love I have for my fiance, my brother, my parents and other family members is meaningless? I can accept the idea that love for your own child is a different type of love that I will not experience, but don’t tell me that my life is completely devoid of love just because I don’t have kids. Innocent pleasure, real joy and big hugs can and should be a part of any loving relationship, not exclusive to the relationship between parents and their children.
If you truly believe that all children are a source of unselfish love, try doing a google search for “my kids don’t love me” and read through some of the nearly 1.8 million results. Then go ahead and search for mothers who don’t love their children and you will find a whole different and also staggeringly large set of search results. The fairy tale of universal, unselfish love between a parent and their child doesn’t always have a happy ending.
The reason to not have children; your offspring would only pollute the Earth. So thank you, for not having children. We wouldn’t want another you in the world anyway. 🙂
The few things that separate the true parents from the people who either choose not to have children, or chose to leave their children, is patience, understanding, and a true love for raising the future of our home; Earth.
Tsk tsk – it’s people like you who make people hate parents. You claim to be full of love yet by all appearances are an angry, vengeful person.
Gee, your parenting instinct just shines through in your post. I hope you don’t talk that way to your children when they do something to disappoint you – because they will!
I suppose you’re a mom, and I saw quite some women just like what you said. Although they presented themselves as very caring people, they in fact depend on their parents, friends, and especially their husbands, to provide for them so that they can move into the role of being the best mom in the world. They will share their family pictures, stories, songs, in public space like in the church or on the Facebook, but they never ask who make all these things possible. Perhaps they really are very caring people, but somehow anger accumulates deep inside the silent providers. Worse, the kids know.
I bet you teach your children such tolerance. What a wonderful legacy to leave.
I’m so sorry that you’ve never enjoyed the love of a partner, family, friends, neighbours, the joy of life, of art of literture, of getting drunk, of having a good time, of smelling the roses, of enjoying nature, of wondering at science etc etc.
It’s seems your life ‘enjoys’ a very narrow spectrum indeed, you only know love by procreating. It’s delusional to think you can only know love by breeding, it’s a shame to miss out on all the other things and loving relationships you can enjoy because you’re too tired of being an old and jaded parent.
Why is it that the people who spew this crass ill informed nonesense about ‘life being devoid of love because you haven’t bred’ always assume that those who choose to remain child free are all playboys and swingers. I didn’t notice that Florence Nightingale, Lousie May Alcott, Marie and Pierre Curie and all the other great child free philanthropists and contributors to the benefit of human existance, were all ‘jaded playboys’.
Marie and Pierre Curie had two daughters.
When anyone talks about the joys and love of having children they always talk about little kids (the sticky kisses and huggy wuggy crap). They never talk about the joy they felt at collecting their teenage kid from the police sation at 4 am after it’d been picked up lying in the gutter in a pool of it’s own vomit.
Or the joy they felt when their 18 year old jock son announced he was gay, or love that washed over them when their 14 year princess smashed up her new iPhone because it wasn’t pink.
Come on tell me about my live devoid of love when your beautiful 15 year baby is calling you a c**t and that it hates you. 😆
Breeders, listen up…..You can fool some of the people some of the time, most of the people most of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time…..and you’re not fooling anyone.
You seem to live in an oxytocin induced bubble of delusion which seems to think that your children are only your children when they’re toddlers (who actually would heap stcky kisses on anyone that pays them attention). Toddlers grow up, they turn into sullen teenagers and then (for the most part) humdrum ordinary adults living humdrum ordinary lives. That’s assuming that they actually fly the nest and don’t spend the first 3 decades still living with you.
Please come back and tell me about the unselfish and innocent love when you’ve been through the whole parenting experience, from babies to adult. Don’t base your rhetoric on a snippet of experience which lasts but a fleeting moment. Most people I know who have experienced the full impact parenting, the unrelenting decades of it tell me the same thing …’if I had my time again and knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it’. I’ll look forward to reading your update in 20 years time.
Your parents must be so proud….
I bet it was them that said that to you, wasn’t it?
Heck, i wouldn’t want to be your parent either. You’re humdrum without aspirations and a willingness to see life in a different light. Or so you show in your sad statements above. Yikes!
You are so right. I loved being a mother. I just wanted to stay home with my kids but unfortunately my husband wanted the fun life so I worked to help pay for it. My kids are grown, successful, my daughter doesn’t speak to me and my son contributed to that problem so I watch what I say to him so much that I’m afraid to speak to him. My only pleasure in life is my 2 grandkids who are almost grown so I probably won’t see much of them any more before long too. No, I wouldn’t have kids again.
Thank you for your honest answer. But you can still re-connect with your children and grandchildren. Many have. I wish you the best.
selfish people – some of the most selfish people I know are parents – who then claim they are unselfish – OK – so whose kids are they ? MINE. So what do you spend you time doing ? – looking after MY children. What are you sacrificing yourself for? – the future of MY children. What would you give your life for? – MY children.
I have just turned 60 – have no kids – in a 20 year happy relationship and very happy with my choice. I spend my time working on community projects improving life for everybody – how many parents do I see there – usually none – they’re too busy looking after THEIR children.
So don’t give me selfish – parents want to have kids for themselves – parenting is a socially-acceptable excuse for selfish behaviour.
We had visitors staying last night – a single mother and 13yo daughter – I was up at 830am, they did not come out of the room until 1040am – to quickly tell me they were ‘late’ to ‘go shopping’ – a couple of sentences and they were out the door. How are they improving the world? By going shopping – thank heavens for the consumer society … hmmm
This article overgeneralizes by saying a child born anywhere in this world is a danger to planet.
It is entirely ok to have a child if the country you reside in has the resources to provide for that child and it isn’t overpopulated. I live in Australia and we have an extremely low density population in our country and an immigration policy (not perfect by any means) that encourages further population growth. If I don’t have a child in my country of 20 million people spread over an entire continent, it isn’t a drop in the ocean compared to the high density, fast increasing populations found elsewhere.
Each country must provide for it’s citizens and have policies that plan for the sustainability of their populations. What is true for some countries is not true for others.
Regardless of what country you live in, overpopulation is a danger for the whole world – less resources and more pollution. There will be a shortage of timber, marble and other construction materials needed to build houses. There will be a shortage of food. There will be a shortage of medicine. There will be more electrical blackouts and perhaps no electricity at all. More diseases will break out and spread and hospitals will be overcrowded. There will be more landfills and air pollution. The landfills will sink into the oceans. There is already a predicted shortage of seafood. Don’t believe me? Try this experiment: Don’t throw away the garbage in your house for 2 weeks. See what will happen. Now imagine that garbage times 7 billion people and growing. That will give you a better idea.
I agree with you..especially when couple are infertile and Irresponsible towards life.
When they are Interested in working n making money, so that they can give money to their parents to build house above the house ignoring their spouse..
Else in all normal conditions.. Children bring happiness with or without parenting problems.
I have five daughters. I live in Texas. There is a lot of land here, there is water, there are fish, there are deer, there is grain. God has always always provided for my family, whether that makes sense to you or not, I give Him thanks. Hard work. Yep. Two hands, two legs – men and women were made to provide to the best of their ability and God gives the increase. This country needs more big families. Sure there is poverty. So what. We also have more opportunity here than, I believe, many other places. Adoption is great and can be tough. Mixed families same thing. I know my share and have experienced much myself. Please don’t discourage the birth of a human being. Every child is life changing, sure. But when you get old…you get to reflect on your choices. Make good choices starting now and ask the Lord for help even if you have never done it before…He wants you to trust Him. Just know things may not always be in our timing, but the Lord provides for our needs, not just our wants. Be encouraged. Have a great day.
“Sure there is poverty. So what.” What a statement to make!
I did not even bother reading the other rubbish you have written because you have already proven how selfish you are. Your God must be so proud that you keep bringing children into this world. I hope that they are not as self-absorbed as you appear to be.
I say the same thing to you sir/madam.
You didn’t read the rest of “the rubbish” because you’re selfish, self absorbed, and disrespectful. I hope you are proud of yourself. But I bet you aren’t… I mean, how could you be?
Did you skip over the fact that we’re destroying the planet? We’re literally crowding off other species, gobbling up all the resources. We’re over-populated and it’s only getting worse, especially when there are so many people with your attitude. Adoption is hard to work through, but if you honestly want a child, you’ll put in what ever effort is necessary.
And that bit about poverty. What the hell? So, your plan is to cause more poverty by having as many kids as possible? You are being insensitive to the problems at hand, and should act in a more responsible manner.
You seem to believe that the only part of the world that matters is the one that you live in. The population density in your tiny corner of the planet might be low. But in some places, it is staggeringly high. You have plenty of water, but in some places there is none. And most of those places used to be like the place you currently live in. If your kids each have 5 kids and so on, do you really think your little corner will remain so pristine?
I raised 7 children. My thoughts are simply that good people do not have enough children.
I am thankful for the lady in Texas who is raising those five daughters. She is not, as the hateful types above love to spew, selfish and ‘destroying the planet’. We have 12. Yep, we’re breeders and adopters. And we live in a place that would normally only house two to three children plus parents. And it is a farm, so our milk, meat, eggs, and many of our vegetables leave no carbon footprint whatsoever (nor do we support the agro-giants who are indeed doing their part to destroy the planet). This is for all you greenies out there who would rather live to their own glory and keep themselves at the center of their universe than give the time and energy to raising offspring who will make this world a better place. You people deserve yourselves but thankfully are selfish enough that you don’t reproduce much. Yikes.
That’s not how the carbon footprint works. Your meat and vegetables DO leave a carbon footprint. For example, cows produce harmful methane. They require pasture that is not nearly as efficient as forest at filtering air. The meat must be butchered, stores, packaged, labelled, cooked – all of which requires energy. I am all for home-grown meat and do some of that myself, BUT you can’t say there isn’t a carbon footprint just because you don’t buy it from a store.
And when there is a shortage of food, medicine, clothing, clean water, electricity – what good will all of the land in Texas do for you? When riots break out over the few remaining resources, what will you do then? God has always provided for you? Well, has it occurred to you that God sends people messages that you should follow? You can’t just do what you want and then say that God will provide for you. You need to listen to God, not to your own desires and then use God to justify those desires.
On letting people believe what they want, why should my atheist self have to put up with several people telling me that GOD has a plan for the earth and everyone on it. If I believe this to be false I have just as much right to voice my atheist thought as they have to counter with their religious one. It seems that religious freedom only applies to those who choose to have a religion.
Believe what you want, but don’t tell me or anyone else how to voice their opinions, and what to voice them on.
Most of this article is true, although it simplifies some very complex ideas.
If the Lord has a plan for all the idiots that are currently populating His earth, I wish s/he would just hurry up and let the world know what it is, because frankly there are quite a number of his people wandering around that really should have been either aborted or prevented in the first place. I wish more educated atheists would hook up and have babies though, cause those babies would be of use.
Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding…
So, your parents were stupid then?
oh good, you brought up beliefs… you’re the same in a million bud. Nothing special. please don’t reproduce ok? We don’t want another KKK situation on our hands in 20-40 years.
“because frankly there are quite a number of his people wandering around that really should have been either aborted or prevented in the first place.” – How do you sleep at night????
Terrorists,rapists,murderers,people who harm animals,mug/beat up old people,yes, I wholeheartedly agree that they should have been aborted or prevented and I sleep very well at night thank you very much.
Wow!!! so shallow
Normally I don’t comment on articles I read on the Internet, but this has been on my mind recently and I had to reply to it.
The author of this article cites overpopulation as a reason to not have children. This is taking a majorly complex problem and oversimplifying it to add a geopolitical reason behind the argument to not have children.
Since this article is on the Internet, it’s safe to assume the people reading it will be from places like the United States, Europe, Japan, etc. The problem is these are not the countries contributing to overpopulation. In fact, studies have shown that the population in Japan is shrinking and the numbers of Europeans and American Caucasians are shrinking. The reason the country populations overall are growing is because of immigrant movements into the United States and Europe — and many of those immigrants are having fewer children as well. People in these countries are certainly contributing to more resource depletion than in other countries because of our society and economy, but they are not having more children. The average couple in the United States is having either 2 or 3 children. Two children replaces the existing population (two parents, two kids), and three children barely increases it.
The countries with the most out of control population increases are countries like India and places in Africa. These are places where the average woman has as many as eight or nine children — far more than two. In many if not all of these countries, women are far less likely to get a good education and participate in the economy, for reasons like cultural norms, the prostitution industry, religious practices, etc. In many of these countries, women are valued less than men which leads to a). an increase of aborted female fetuses which leads to a population of more males than females which makes a population in general more violent or b). an increase in family size as couples try to have more and more boys in addition to the numbers of girls they’re having.
The exception to this rule is China which, while no longer treating women as substandard citizens to the extent that these other countries are, is currently suffering from the effects of this same problem.
Studies have proven over and over again that women who get a good education and good jobs have fewer children later in life, and those children go on to have good educations and successful careers themselves. In countries where women have access to good education and can get good jobs, the population is under control, the economy does better, and the people are wealthier and happier. The answer to population control is not “Stop Having Babies.” The answer to population control is to promote women’s rights and education throughout the world.
The answer would also be to tell these overpopulating countries to stop doing so? It’s disgusting and it’s got to stop.
But I see from some of the other commentators every sperm is still sacred in the land of the “free”. Tough ask. Your pretend friend wants famines and wars caused because of there being too many people in the world. Some friend.
1. Africa is a continent not a country
2. Majority of people living in US are immigrants (probably yourself included)
3. Where are you getting your facts from? I am from a country in Africa and majority of my friends and family have 2-3 children.
4. Just because this article is on the internet doesn’t mean that the whole continent of Africa can’t read this article. We have internet here too and we are educated! 🙂
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I said places in Africa, and I was thinking specifically of many poverty-stricken areas. In many poverty-stricken areas, there are I didn’t mean to imply that no one in Africa reads articles on the Internet.
I also don’t think the answer to population control is to tell anyone in Africa to stop having children, just to promote women’s education — everywhere in the world.
To answer your question, I’m getting most of my facts from economists who do population studies (specifically from Amartya Sen) and from books on women’s education and economic empowerment like Half the Sky.
Bleh, I messed up my own comment. Sorry. I meant to say in a lot of poverty-stricken places all over the world, some of the families have a lot of children. This goes for populations everywhere. And studies have shown that women who are educated generally have fewer children, and those children are educated. I certainly did not intend to imply that no one at all in any specific area of the world is educated.
God will take care of our world including the decisions on how many children each woman will give birth too.Some humans just want to try and control everything and that is so SAD and these same humans should learn more about what God wants.
God will make the decisions on how many children each woman on Earth will give birth to.Why do some humans think they have to control everything? Please step back and let God handle everything.Read your Bible and learn what God wants from you. God will take care of our planet and all his children if we stop trying to do things our way and start doing things his way. May God Bless the Earth.
Keep dreaming Cheryl… The only reason you are able to spout such nonsense is the fact that you’ll be long dead before any of this becomes a truly serious issue. Therefore you can claim with confidence that “God” will sort it out because you won’t be around to be proven wrong. You religious wackos who proselytize this bunk turn a blind eye to the future of our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and far beyond who will be left holding your bag of ignorance and responsibility… But what do you care right? You’ll find that your after life is nothing but maggots chewing on your flesh.
megapril, its non of your damn business what someone else think and believes in, don’t know why atheists keep doing this, so what if she believes in God, its her opinion, u shouldn’t be insulting her for that, if you don’t believe in what she believes, be the mature person that respects her for being different from you, besides you have no idea what will be waiting for you or her when you die, because lets face it.,you haven’t been dead before, so she could be right, or you could
God gave us intellect and when we fail to use that intellect, we are rejecting the gift that God gave us, which is what Satan wants. Saying that God will take care of us is being lazy and irresponsible. You are refusing to take responsibility for your actions in the name of God. God did not create drones, God created humans. God sends us messages and the world is already becoming way too overpopulated. If we humans don’t see that, then we will be ignoring God and we will pay the price for that.
I am from Africa and I am African, this notion of saying African women breed too much here is wrong. Things have changed, people plan in Africa for babies as well. We are not so backwards to bringing babies into the world that we are not ready to keep. Besides children are a gift from God and not animals.
Yes, a gift that keeps on giving, much like syphillis and the clap. And yes, they are animals, just like everyone else.
The problem is, no matter how you may look at it, we ARE overpopulating the planet. It’s one thing if people only had – for instance – 2 children per couple – one to replace each parent. The extra one here and there would not be a problem. But humans have the apparent need to have not only 1 or 2, but 3 or 4. Then there are the families that get split up due to various factors, and then end up having more children with their new spouses. Add the fact that we are living longer lives and finding cures for many diseases that were once death sentences and anyone with half a brain can figure out that we are exponentially killing ourselves.
I’m not saying that NOBODY should EVER have children, but I think many people have them because of social pressure rather than having them because they really want them. Then there’s the religious factor, and don’t even get me started. We don’t HAVE to procreate any more.
I have never had children and never wanted them. I haven’t a maternal bone in my body – well, maybe toward my pets. But even there, my furry kids are ALL adopted. And if one more person tells me that I don’t know what I’m missing…. after all, I figure they don’t know what THEY’RE missing.
I don’t think that people who have children are stupid, but there ARE many who are careless. They can’t afford them, or perhaps they don’t really want them but mom wants to be a grandma, or they just make mistakes and find themselves with a bun in the oven, or maybe they’re having trouble getting pregnant and end up getting invitro which lands them with triplets. I just wish that people would really think about what they’re getting into, and maybe they would change their minds about their family plans. And there is NOTHING wrong with being childless, and really, do we want to leave behind a planet that cannot sustain it’s inhabitants to the next generation?
The authorshould think about it, if his parents had the same thought?
I completely agree!!
If his parents hadn’t wanted children, he wouldn’t be here to discuss it.
All you dim bulbs are missing one essential point. #5: you don’t want children.
If someone doesn’t want children, they shouldn’t have them.
I’ll never understand how “What if your parents had thought that way!?” continues to be considered an actual worthy argument in these matters. I mean, honestly, I wouldn’t exist, so I’d be literally incapable of caring one way or the other about anything. Some of us are comfortable contemplating our non-existence. After all, someday we most likely won’t.
Adoption is not satanic. Abortion is just legalized killing of innocents. But these “reasons” make having children sound like a disgrace, a killjoy, and ruin your life. No, it’s not good to be a teenage parent—but the “killing the planet” thing is just bullshit. Guess what? We so-called adults are human, too—just like children, and we destroy the planet even more. Expensive? Sure, but isn’t everyone and everything? Life practically comes with a dollar sign these days, nothing is free or easy and is barely cheap. Of course they take time. Lots of things take time. But if you’re too lazy or self-centered that you don’t want to have to “take time” out for anyone, other than yourself or what interests you, then you really should just ensure for yourself that you won’t be pregnant or become a father by keeping them crossed or keeping it in your pants. Quite simple, really.
Yes, they do put a strain on relationships at times. But when you have a child, you must realize that it’s not all about you and the other person, it’s also about the child. Yes, take time for your spouse—but don’t ignore your children. Don’t want to have them? Fine, assure yourself you won’t be having any. And if you do, own up to your responsibilities.
You imply abortion is killing babies as they’re being born. As they’re not developed, they are fetuses. They are not babies at that point. Learn your basic biology, please.
Uneducated people who aren’t given proper sex education and access to contraceptives (which sounds like your upbringing) are far more likely to have kids that they’re either unprepared for or don’t want. People are going to have sex, like it or not, before they’re married. The only way to prevent abortions is, surprise, comprehensive sex education and easy-to-find contraceptives. That way, people can have kids when they want to — on their own time and when they’re financially and mentally ready.
There’s a certain correlation here.
I only have one child I have been married for 11 years. You really have to think about becoming parents. Think about how many. We chose to have one. He was born premature it was very expensive. But being a mom is stressful but also rewarding. Just think how many would be good for your life style.
Wow! I don’t think you need an article to tell you why not to have kids if you don’t want any. But the idea that someone wrote an article to try to convince people, to try to give them reasons to not want children–that’s disturbing.
The first argument–“They’re killing the planet” is perposterous! The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness there of. He put man on this planet for a reason. Man is called to care for the earth and to worship it’s creator, God. God’s command is to be fruitful and replenish the earth. Children are a heritage of the Lord. The earth is damaged when people do not steward it well, but not by the existence of children!
Children are expensive and parents should plan for that. Children do take time and can put a strain on relationships if the time is not managed and the children are not taught properly. On the otherhand, it is a joy to see your child growing and learning the values and principles you’ve taught them, and to enjoy their loving trust in you as their parent. And children can grow up to be great men and women who do amazing things for the planet and mankind. There is nothing wrong with adopting (we’ve got 4 adopted kids), but we love our biological child as much and never regretted any of them.
The greatest men and women of all time were once someone’s kid. It’s ridiculous to promote reasons to not have children. And there is much joy to be had in a close-knit loving family. Children as they grow can contribute to the family’s income, too. They help with chores, recycle, and get odd jobs untilt their old enough to work. How often are elderly people blessed when their children care for them so that they don’t have to go to a nursing home simply because there is no family left to care for them?
I’m all for people being free to choose whether to have a family or not. Certainly there are people who should not do so. However, it would be wrong to discourage people from having a family who want to do so.
Ok, first of all, people need to quit starting things of with, “The Lord Has a Plan. He Put Us On Earth For a Reason.”
He also gave us brains. Using our brains, we can use studies to realize that the current rate things have been going, we’re going to overpopulate and consume more resources, while crowding other animals off the planet. The population has more than tripled since the sixties, and there’s just going to be more of us if someone doesn’t have the forethought to take an effort to keep this from happening. Maybe God does have a plan, and He’s telling us to control ourselves a bit, and stop destroying his green Earth.
Right on, D. These Bible Humpers don’t have reading comprehension skills, either, because they forget God said “go forth and multiply” where there were supposedly two people on Earth, not 7 billion.
People need to use their Gawd-given brains to think themselves out of this coming environmental mess and stop breeding so many people.
yeah… I stopped reading after the third reason because i got to figuring that if you weren’t born there would have been less ignorance in the world-
Super interesting article, come to think of it, most of the statements in here are common sense, yet most people seem to lack common sense.
yeah, you probably co authored this article as well…
get off the weed- common sense…
You’ve proven that you wouldn’t know common sense if it gave birth to a squalling litter right on your face, so please just stop now.
In your article “why you shouldn’t have children”, you are propagating the same satanic dogma as Margret Sanger and Adolf Hitler.
I pity your two errors of birth control for being born to selfish pro-aborts, who for some reason, didn’t go through with the abortion-murder of their own children.
lol no. You’re super wrong sir, you mention Adolf Hitler, who didn’t want people to not reproduce, but Aryans and only Aryans to reproduce. Get your facts straight.
Also, nothing about not having children is “satanic”, au contraire, it’s the safest and best thing not only for each individual, but for the planet. And the planet comes first.
Want to have children? Adopt, there are plenty of unwanted children being given-up for adoption, THAT is satanic, instead of aborting a child and sparing them all the suffering you could ever cause them by leaving them to a merciless society that condemns abortion but not leaving a helpless child without a family, not even a single parent.
Never been a fan of children. Maybe that’s caused by my super germophobia and children’s need to be touching everything with their hands, or perhaps because I’m a loner and value my personal space and peace. But maybe it’s something entirely different, maybe I just don’t like them. People always try to push their values about children onto me, trying to convince me that “when the time comes I will want them”. The more they say such things the more I actually hate the idea of having children. People, not everyone has to like children, we are all different and that’s what makes us special. I much prefer my wee dogs, they’re less demanding and I know they won’t even turn into bitchy little teenagers.
I’d have to agree to a large degree on this. It’s honestly the likely reason some grandparents can enjoy being grandparents – “they’re not MY problem, I just send them back to my child when I’m tired or they’re inconvenient” Liking the idea of having children of your own & liking children are two different things. Some folks are lucky to realize early on that at certain times in their life, it just does not work for them and take proper effective steps to avoid procreating.
There will always be human success & tragedy stories for both having children & not (and vice a versa). Regrets and Blessings are often found from either side of this issue…
If you have never been a fan of children then you must not like yourself because you were once a child too.I’m a woman with one child who means more to me than anyone or anything in this world.It’s not always easy raising my child but he was and always will be a gift from God and God will help me raise him.You may want to talk to GOD about how you are feeling and remember that you too were a child and a gift from GOD and he loves you very much.
Bully for you. It’s good your child means so much to you. The world would be a lot better off if every child was loved and cared for.
There’s the rub, though. Not everyone wants to, or can, care for children. Isn’t it better that they know this and do not produce children, rather than have children they do not want and possibly end up mistreating, abusing or doing worse to them?
You were a child too. Do you not like yourself ? I don’t like germs but that’s why they make soap, to wash them away.I and my child wash our hands.My child is not a teenager yet but I believe teenagers are still learning and want guidence and God will help parents to guide these teenagers. Children are gifts from GOD so that makes you a gift from GOD too.God loves you and he is always ready to listen if you want to talk.
First, there is no god, so give it a rest. Yeah, I know it’s your opinion and you have the right to pollute the internet with it, but I have just as much right to offer my opinion, so there’s that. Some people don’t like children. They are not a “gift” from anyone/thing; they are simply a result of meiosis. I loved my child. I even liked him most of the time. I certainly liked him better as he grew up. I do not like children in general though. And yes, I didn’t like myself as a child either.
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