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How To (Finally) Find Your Soul Mate

by Judith Orloff MD

What would you say if someone told you that there’s not only one, but many people walking around the earth that may be your soul mate?

Edgar Cayce, perhaps the most famous American intuitive of the twentieth century, writes that soul mate relationships aren’t created out of thin air, as the world frequently thinks, but have evolved over numerous incarnations.

He says that we have many possible soul mates in our lives, not just one.

find your soul mate

When a woman asked Cayce if there was someone other than her fiancée who could make her happy, he replied, “You might have 25 or 30 such relationships if you choose to make it so.” According to him, you can find your soul mate anywhere: soul mates play different supportive roles in our many lives, such as colleagues, teachers, or friends.

Cayce suggested that instead of looking for a person simply to make us happy, we’d be better off finding someone to facilitate our wholeness and spiritual growth.

This was how he defined a soul mate–not as an “other half” who completes us.

What Does A Soul Mate Look Like?

Soul mates are mirrors for each other, what’s loving, smart, and adorable, as well as what’s annoying, negative, or rigid.

Thus, your relationship may experience tumultuous periods, or you may have disagreements that require the two of you to expand your hearts and surrender your egos, in small and larger areas.

Related: 8 Signs You’re A Relationship Empath (And What To Do About It)

For instance: the chick flick or testosterone-charged action film you see to please your spouse; the obligatory visit to your toxic in-laws; or larger arguments that require compromise, about everything from parenting styles to work schedules to dealing with money.

You surrender to these compromises in service to the “we” of love.

A soul mate union invites you to open differently than you would alone, become flexible, let go of behaviors that don’t benefit you or the relationship.

As fiery as it can get with a soul mate—good passionate and bad passionate—your mutual bond, familiarity, and instinctive trust, motivates you to resolve conflict instead of bolting. Getting to the other side of an impasse—working out a problem—feels marvelous. As barriers dissolve, the space between two people opens; there’s room for ecstasy.

Related: The 7 C’s Of Happy Relationships

It’s important to carefully choose our companions in all areas of life. People can help or hinder our well-being. As a psychiatrist, I appreciate how much we can understand ourselves through our relationships. Therefore, it is critical to find a partner who supports us in becoming our best selves.

There are clear ways to hone your intuitive focus to make it more possible for you to find your soul mate

How To Invite Your Soul Mate In

Surrender into action by setting the state for a soul mate, then notice the signs that he or she has arrived. Here’s how.

1. Make a wish list

Spend some quiet time picturing the qualities you most desire in a mate. Ask yourself: What would truly be good for me? What do I need? Intelligence? Kindness? Support? Chemistry? Wants children? Good communication skills? Is he or she spiritually connected?

Related: 5 Steps To Attracting Your Perfect Partner (Even If You’re Very, Very Single)

Also, make a list of traits that are unacceptable to you, such as being self-absorbed or rigid. Everyone’s needs are different.

2. Release expectations

Think of your list as a letter to the spirit. You’ve put in your soul mate requests. No need to keep re-sending the letter.

Now, let the list go. Hold your desires lightly in your heart, but don’t push. Have faith that you’ve been heard.

3. Listen to your intuition and gut-instincts

When you find your soul mate, you’ll know it, deep down. Pay attention to intuitive signs that you’ve met someone of interest, even if he or she isn’t “your type.”

These include: a sudden wave of chills, a gut feeling of attraction, or a flash of insight that this person may be right for you.

Related: Why You Should Follow Your Intuition (No Matter What)

Also stay aware of negative intuitions such as a sick feeling in your gut or a sense of distrust that warns, “Danger. Bad news. Stay away.” These will protect you from unhealthy relationships.

4. Be aware of synchronicities and déjà vu

Synchronicities are moments of perfect timing when paths effortlessly interconnect.

You sit next to someone in a movie who turns out to be your soul mate. Or, out of the blue, you have a chance to go to Paris where you meet The One.

Also, notice when you have a sense of déjà vu–as if you’ve known each other before. If this occurs with a stranger, in the market for example, act on the situation by smiling and making eye contact.

Then, go ahead and talk to your soul mate. What are you waiting for?

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dr judith orloffJudith Orloff MD is the author of the national bestseller The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life, upon which this article is based. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and New York Times bestselling author who synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting-edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. An Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, the Oprah Magazine, and USA Today.

Photo by Yuliya Bahr

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