Even though our world is filled with spoon fed security, from Homeland Security to Social Security and Internet security – do you ever feel insecure?
Where do these feelings come from? Is there some potential benefit to your unease?
It turns out that being insecure can actually be a good thing, if you learn from it.
And what you learn from feelings grounded in insecurity can create more balance in your life. Heightened awareness of feelings rooted in insecurity is a constant in this continuous process of rebalance.
Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Insecurity
It is natural to want to fight back against insecurity, to try to talk yourself out of your feelings or push them away. These efforts usually don’t work and will likely create more tension in your life.
The shadow of insecurity can be an abiding presence, following you through thick and thin, through all of life’s inevitable ups and downs.
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Some people conjure up images of this insecurity. It might look like the elf in the Harry Potter movies or like Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. Though it may be small, insignificant and pitiful in appearance, feelings of insecurity can command attention from every part of you and can touch every phase of your life.
But you can understand its manifestations so that its cold clammy grip begins to loosen a little.
And when this happens, you’ll suddenly have the freedom to choose your response to life instead of robotically react to the frightening elements insecurity spawns, chief among them: fear, jealousy, anger, and greed.
5 Ways to Respond to Insecurity
There are some lessons that our “little friend” teaches. In order to learn them, you must first and foremost be aware of what insecurity is whispering into your ear.
You need to be calm enough to pay attention without attachment or judgment. When you hear these pleadings from a desperate part of yourself, you can sit with them and, with patience and compassion, come to understand there is a better path.
For this to happen, it’s necessary to cultivate the ability to step back from your situation, far enough to observe dispassionately what’s going on in your life.
1. Insecurity Whispers…
There is always something that I must do which I have not yet done, and my life, and the life of all that I hold dear, is dependent on my doing.
Understanding Responds…
The ability to be is the foundation for a healthy life.
2. Insecurity Whispers…
Life will not take care of me. I must take care of my life.
Understanding Responds…
All that we need is available right here in this present moment.
3. Insecurity Whispers…
There is no such thing as security. There is only a false sense of security.
Understanding Responds…
In our vulnerability lies our safety.
4. Insecurity Whispers…
Anything that has value must be earned.
Understanding Responds…
Anything that has value is free and shared by all.
5. Insecurity Whispers…
No matter how much I have or do, it is not enough. No matter how much another person has or does, it is too much.
Understanding Responds…
I am interconnected with all of life and that is enough.
By doing these exercises your relationship with insecurity can grow into a true friendship, one of give and take. You’ll give attention to parts of your self that prefer to stay hidden behind a curtain of activity.
You can take a reminder to rediscover yourself within the muck of mistaken identity–the illusion that your individual life is separate from everything and everyone. This illusion can seem as real as the breath that fills your lungs. In truth, this notion of separateness is like a trance from which it’s possible to awake.
The Takeaway
Without being aware of your insecurity, you’re simply not in touch with a part of yourself. With it, you can gather yourself toward the discovery of what it means to be, here, in the present moment, which is your only real security. You can appreciate the lessons insecurity has to teach and begin again.
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Dr. Matt Mumber and Heather Reed are the authors of Sustainable Wellness: An Integrative Approach to Transform Your Mind, Body and Spirit.
Featured photo by Samantha Jade Royds