When I found out that Tiger Woods had been cheating on his blonde bombshell-of-a-wife with about fifty different women, I was flabbergasted. He had a great career, lots of money, and a hot wife, so why would he do something so stupid? The simple truth is that there are several reasons why marriages fail; being aware of the most common reasons can help couples alleviate problems in their marriages and help prevent divorce in the future.
Why Marriages Fail: 4 Reasons
Cheating seems like the most common reason for divorce, due largely in part to the media. Athletes, singers, politicians, and other “celebrities” are often in the spotlight because of their infidelity; in some cases, this cheating involves multiple people and is usually quite scandalous, garnering worldwide attention and often wrecking their personal and professional lives.
But infidelity isn’t just reserved for those in the limelight – it’s a situation that arises in the marriages of normal people, too. Infidelity is different from the other reasons on this list primarily because it’s usually caused by other issues. As a matter of fact, it may occur because of…
2. Poor Communication
Communication is often the glue that holds a marriage together. If two people are in-tune with each other’s feelings, opinions, and values, then it’s a great benefit to their relationship. Generally, this means that they actually have to speak honestly and openly with each other, and although it may seem difficult to do this amidst jobs, children, and other obligations, it’s an important component to any relationship.
If two people don’t openly express their feelings or concerns, then there’s no way to work together to help or fix them.
Talk about sex. Tell your partner if you feel emotionally or mentally unfulfilled. If you need attention, ask for it. Two people get married because they communicate that they love each other and want to make their love official…so this is a great place to start.
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3. Money Problems
Money is one factor that heavily influences the stability and solidity of marriages. Money is nice to have, and it’s a great way to show how much you really care, but money (or lack thereof) often tears people apart.
Lay-offs, medical bills, children and even basic household bills can be burdensome and can cause stress for couples. Poverty and the struggles that correspond with it can test marriages, but communication and mutual compromise can help a relationship survive amidst difficult financial times.
4. Other Priorities
With careers, social obligations, and families to care for, it can be hard to find quality time to spend with your spouse, yet the livelihood of your relationship depends on it. By taking time out of your busy lives to spend quality time together, marriage satisfaction can be greatly improved. Don’t hesitate to schedule date nights or plan events with your spouse to make sure they’re not missed.
Although marriage may have its ups and downs, it usually pays off in the long run. Understanding the primary reasons why marriages fail is the first step in preventing and overcoming them.
Product Link: Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Women search for love, Men search for Sex.
Disagree. If men just wanted sex, they wouldn’t get married. Ask any married man what marriage did to his sex life (answer : it want from good to almost non-existent). Mostly, men get married because they want children, and a stable family environment to raise them in.
Yes – I agree. COMMUNICATION is one of the most important things. Sorry guys but I have found out (mostly the hard way) that the majority of guys are poor communicators – and you are left “guessing” what they actually are trying to tell you.
And of course – another reason FOOLS RUSH IN!!!
Get to know someone really well BEFORE you get too involved with them. In other words – take off those rose coloured glasses.
As a married woman I have to say that THIS issue is on BOTH men AND women. Women expect men to just know what they want or what they are thinking. It’s a stupid way to be. If you want or need something from your partner SPEAK UP. Nobody can read minds and even partners who’ve been together for a long time don’t develop a fool proof psychic sense that can accurately read their partner all of the time.
It’s a maturity thing that many people never gain. We are all guilty of it at some point. If you aren’t getting what you want or need instead of sitting and stewing silently SAY SOMETHING.
Communication Can be a source of problem and i agree the maturity thing comes up not so much in just saying it but knowing what to say. some people need less communication. There are of course other things that makes marriage fail. There is no one fit all, you need to know your point of crises and work from there. Even the best of marriages hit a crises as long as they are both humans in the marriage.
eeeeh i was married for more than 35 years,to a lovely mother but a big spender because i had a good income ,but never loved my job..i dicided to quite and do what suited me most ooooh she got nuts as she knew the money for her to spend weekly like crazy is over,anyway i tried what ever i could but she became impossible to live with as she became abusive,,
where by i had a company to run plus all the household as she wasnt very healthy..
when i come home from work i love a glass of wine or two to calm down and relax from a long day,the first thing i hear is alkoholiker…it is annoying when you give someone everything and try to finance her high standard of living and the only thing she thinks of is how much you drink when she doesnt consider how much pounds she spends weekly on rubbish we dont need in the house…the was no way we could carry out a discussion without money issues which was her first priority in life,,,She never even bothered to ask how i feel or if iam happy with what iam doing..??.we ended up on divorcing she claims she still loves me but before the only topic was where is the money and boys i paid her tons and still do…still wondering if she ever loved me at all or it was a business trip..
That’s why I will never ever marry an American woman. They don’t give a **** about anybody but themselves. see the thing is men give them so much special treatment that when she dumps you she will take your children and your money because you gave her everything. the fact of the matter is your generosity is your enemy. you have to demand that they do half. otherwise get rid of them. if she complains about this. get rid of her. no point in paying for the rest of your life for someone who is a user. and most American woman are.
I don’t care what they say. they are users. we can sugar coat this and pretend that it’s a two way street but the fact of the matter is they are the ones who initiate divorce because they want more. they are the greedy selfish manipulators. they are the soulless ones.
they don’t care about anyone. it’s all about getting as much as they can and putting the least in the pot and if you aren’t making enough than they will take everything you have and move on.
I feel bad for you man. young men listen to this guy. don’t let that happen to you.
Divorced 5 years and zero intention of ever ever re-partnering. Taken to the cleaners and told that whatever was needed to be said was said, simply because I had money and that they never loved me, they just loved my money but they could put on a good act. – their words not mine. Women take and take until their is nothing left to give and then they just leave. Women are like hurricanes, they arrive wet and wild and when they leave they take your house with them…and they will leave as soon as the money looks like it might be less or not there.
and when it is the other way around and the woman makes the “more” money and the man takes it and spends it with no answers to where it goes. You have 4 children and he spends his check on instant lottery tickets. Now really, is that the woman’s fault?
Seek GOD devine intervension when you want a spouse,Don’t rely on your own understanding.We are fighting against the unseen forces of darkness called lucifer and his demons and they want to break the foundation of marriage that our heavenly Father odained.
I was going to say that these comments make me realize how lucky I am, but I have always known that. I married my high school sweetheart and we have now been together for almost 30 years (and she still does not look 30).
I don’t buy lottery tickets because I feel that I won the lottery when I met her.
Most of the divorces that I see, I predicted in advance. If you don’t share the same values and you are not there for the long haul, forget it.
I have had some trying times, probably less than most people, but when there is trouble, the marriage has been a source of strength and support. Maybe things have ben easy for me so I should not give advice, any man would be happy to have a wife like mine. I just try to be a good husband because my wife is truly wonderful.
Matthew from Canada, your comment made me cry.
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever read and probably why you have such a successful marriage.
You love and respect one another, are open and honest and communicate.
You are both in it for the long haul and are clearly not interested in material things, just each other.
I strongly believe that many couples these days are dishonest at the beginning and do not show their true colours, they pretend to have the same values and beliefs as their partner just to be agreeable and to simply get married and have a ring on their finger.
I hope I am as happy as you are after 30 years of marriage!
Good for you! I’m 55 and still looking to marry that one that I truly love and cannot live without. I have been in love a few times, but they never felt the same about me. Or I wasn’t attracted to the ones who did show an interest. So hard to get matched up on the same level. But like the Chicago Cubs, I’m still not giving up at the chance to win it all!
In Nigeria, the top reason for divorce is the man becoming wealthy. This gives him an incredible sense of entitlement to anything in skirts, and he starts to think he is God. Spousal abuse often follows, and he cannot wait to kick out the woman who stood by his side, long-suffering, while he made his millions. Most rich Nigerian men cannot wait to replace their wives with some bimbo airhead trophy wife. Luckily, many Nigerian women are fighting back, and have just as many affairs as the men, in some cases. Well, what a man can do…….
I think the problem is that men need to learn they are just as human as anyone else, women included. The nonsensical notion of male entitlement is the cause of much suffering. Egoistical behaviour solves nothing including the emotional abyss within the perpetrator.
Women are users ?
Why don t men use women for sex, for servants who do all the dirty work at home of cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, washing clothes and ironing, not to mention the hard task of bearing children, delivering them, raising them and arranging their education, sports and various activities and driving them where they need to go. All for not a dime. With the likelihood that one day, their husband might leave them for a younger and more attractive women from whom they will ask the same.
Frankly, i don t know who uses who but truly you should be in women s shoes for quite a long time and then we would be in a position to really discuss.
Plus most women work today and in addition to all the work they do at home and for their family, they also have to work loads and get far less than men who have appropriated the top jobs for themselves.
I think, under such circumstances, a woman and her children have every right to expect some contribution from their husband with whom they decided to raise a family, and the minimum is financial contribution and they do not always even get that.
You may never want to marry an American women but i sure would never marry a man like you.
Wait.. Isn’t gay marriage the main reason for divorce?
Why marry at all? Same old saying “just a piece of paper”.. Enjoy life, talk to each other openly and honestly, waste of time marriage, don’t need it..
If you’re an atheist, I guess that is all it is. A piece of paper.
I am appalled that domestic violence and abuse is no longer a good enough reason for divorce. If I had not divorced my abusive, violent ex-husband (and spent the last 18 years hiding from him), I’d most likely be dead by now.
I identify with what you are saying – same for me.
Why did you marry him if he is abusive?
People can changed once the vows are exchanged, and that applies to both women and men. In this case, it wasn’t in a good way.
I’ve heard a women while waiting for the bus say that her parents told her it was a mistake to marry the man before she went down the aisle, but she didn’t listen. And she found out they were right.
I agree with you too.
Not to mention that when they cheat on you, they put your health at risk with hiv, std’s and the financial burden of raising a family alone.
90 percent of divorces are initiated by women. So, the MAIN reason why divorce happens is because of WOMEN.
And then the woman goes on to screw the man in divorce financially and emotionally and kidnaps his children from him.
American women are evil. Do not ever marry them. Google “Don’t Marry” essay.
I totally agreed with you. I have served in United STates Army. I lived a miserable life trying to save as much as I could to buy a new house. I spent almost 2-5 dollar a day. When I was honorable discharged, I purchased a new home and 2006 used salvage car for me and 2008 brand new car for my X. I never cheated on her neither beat her up or cursing. Yet, she divorced me without any good or stupid reason; took all my money, and SHE IS THE VICTIM.
THE ONE REASON FOR DIVORCE IS A WOMEN
Abe, It takes 2 to tango. Do you really believe you are faultless? “yet she divorced me without any good or stupid reason” Did you nurture your marraige or just provide financial security? I could care less about a ‘new home or a new car’ I’d much rather have a husband that invested himself in the marraige. Too many men think their job is to provide $$$ and have no clue how to find time for the woman they claim they love.
If that was really the case, then why do women go all out to screw as much money as they can from their ex-husbands? My ex-wife said she would be happy living in a tent with me, yet when our marriage broke down, after supporting her financially for 17 & 1/2 years so she could further her education & do numerous post graduate degrees, she left the country with my son & is now taking me to the cleaners, whilst she is shacked up with another man & being supported by him.
Such is life.
ALL women don’t come out of a divorce smelling like a rose. My old bastard of a husband left me penniless and homeless after 18 years of what considered a good marriage. We never fought or argued over anything except his cheating from time to time…which he denied but once day, without warning, he snuck out of the house like a thief and moved in with his girlffriend. I had to pay for my divorce…..I didn’t know I could sue him for abandonment and he’d pay all my legal fees. I had no home (we rented) and had to move out and I had NO JOB because I was a stay at home Mom needed to pick up the kids from school all those yaers. I DID contribute to the household doing things outside the home, babysitting, crossing guard, home party planning, etc. HE made out like a bandit. Got everything…took everything except the junk furniture we had which he didn’t need because SHE had good stuff. I had no job, no home, and was under a LOT a stress. I got sick a LOT, seriously sick many times due to stress……so please guys, don’t judge all women the same. There are those who didn’t make out at all……and all I wound up with was lousy $50 a week alimony which didn’t even pay my legal fees…….or my night school education. So there. PS It’s been 31 years since my divorce…do you really think I’d try THAT again? Uhhhhh..no thanks.
I can see where local-gal is coming from. I’ve been married for nearly 19 years and 3 months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I’m a serving soldier in the British Army and have been away from home a long time on and off for all those 19 years. I’ve lost the art of communication with her and our children, I have no authority in my own home and I’ve buried those emotions deep inside, I guess for the sake of pretence for the children. I’ve been building up a small entrepreneurial wedding entertainment business over the last 4 or 5 years and I threw myself into it so deep I didn’t realise I was ignoring her and the kids. I thought I was setting a good example by working hard and providing extra money for the family yet I’ve spent more time away from home than I ever imagined I would. I have failed to attend the girls’ proms, their school days and the wife’s work engagements. I can now understand when I should have been communicating with her and them and doing family things with them. Now, I face the prospect of losing them all and I’m coming to the end of my time in the army too. Too much to take in. Too much time lost and wasted. Too many things not down right. Too many regrets. Too much heartache.
My ex husband stole over £87,000 from our joint savings, bought a house with his girlfriend behind my back and left me and two small children with no home or savings! I do agree that some women are out to get all they can, some because they are greedy but a lot of women like me are really left with very little. I work full time but because I am the main carer for my children I cannot commit to a great career in London that I would love, so money is tight for us and we will rent for the rest of my life because of what he took. However, I’ve moved on and have forgiven, it has taken time and a lot of vented anger and emotions. Carrying ill feeling only destroys you and can ruin your future of finding a really special person, who is genuine, loving and kind. They do exist! Men and women out there. Either that or accept being alone if that suits you?
Hang on a bit Abe – what about your behaviour? In a marriage breakdown there are always two sides to a story…..and how did you change while serving in the military? It takes a great deal of maturity on both sides to deal with the person who returns from service. Listening to each other, not talking at each other is the key…….treating each other with respect; not acting out of the male entitlement idea which reduces a wife to a servant.
What the GI said below is true to point that when a woman starts cheating she has an excuse for every absence, then she claims that she was studying or something else. After that they take you to the cleaners, because they want to have money that they never worked for, nor earned. Most women are offering something, even SEX, hoping for a BIG return, so what out before making any committment, or you will wnd up inpoor house.
Mine began to cheat after 15 years of marriage, and more that 33 guys knew her in the Biblical sense of the word. She clean me out and laughed all the way to the bank.
Women may initiate divorce, but we have no data on whether they want to.
IMO the American male is most likely responsible: in my experience they just cannot ‘give’ in the sense of listening. Their entitlement to being right, never acknowledging anything and inability to stop before blood is drawn while being passive-aggressive in communication makes the male contribution to relationship a total zero.
The imperative to get one’s own way, or be the law, is the problem with males.
It manifests as a continuum, so many men will be able plausibly deny, but the ongoing carnage using guns is the extreme manifestation of the frustration of not getting one’s own way. Divorce is the civilized alternative.
Women ask for divorce because of men’s behaviour and they have every reason to do so.
So, in most cases divorce is the result of men not fulfilling their responsibilies, abusing and cheating on women.
In conclusion, yes it is often women who initiate divorces but in most cases it is the man’s fault.
I am 60 and therefore old enough to know what the game is.
A little research would go a long way with the author. The TOP FOUR reasons for divorce are: 1) Death of a child 2) Infidelity 3) Remodelling 4) Incarceration
Remodelling is not one you might think of being important. But studies show that if your living environment is torn up and it’s costing you a lot of money at the same time, marriage will often be the unintended victim. Words to the wise: invest in a rental apartment BEFORE you attempt a big remodel.
There’s plenty of studies as to the top reasons for divorce. A good marriage counselor will tell you that in each case, communication is the difference between overcoming breakdown in a marriage or succumbing to divorce. The author of the article clearly did ZERO research.
Top FOUR REASONS as measured how? First of all, the title of the article is “4 Reasons Marriages End In Divorce”, not “Top 4 Reasons Marriages End In Divorce”. Second, I doubt the total number of divorces due to child deaths exceeds the number of divorces due to infidelity. In fact the number of divorces due to child death should be relatively small, simply because the number of child deaths itself is relatively small (compared to number of divorces each year). So it is important to clarify how you are measuring “top”. I think what you may be referring to is the top four events that are most likely to cause divorce. That is comparing the percentage of marriages/divorces PER EVENT (and then ranking those *events*) rather than ranking the total number of divorces by reason and then picking those top 4 reasons.
That being said, with respect, I do think that the article is written in “common-sense” language that does smack unintentionally of lack of research; for instance the section on poverty, as a cause for divorce, has no attribution to any studies. Low income could easily be one of those “common-sense” fallacies that seems like it would be a cause but a scientific study might not show a strong casual link (it might even be an inverse relationship, one can be sure only with statistics etc).
I think most likely AND most frequent would both be interesting; remodelling is an eye-opener! Also, perhaps depression (reasonable chance to occur to one partner at some point over a marriage?) and certain personality-type matchups (two type A’s?) have some datum that warrants being considered for this list. A good point posted above about domestic violence, too, which could be examined.
Top 4 reasons for Divorce: 1. Selfishness. 2. Selfishness. 3. Selfishness. 4. Selfishness. People simply don’t care about their mate more than themselves and so they divorce, looking for an easy way out. They may mention some of the things in the article as excuses but it all comes back to selfishness on the part of one or both.
Why isn’t being bashed up by a drunken spouse on the list of dealbreakers?
Not tryin to be smart, seriously, but I think that falls on the “too obvious to tell someone” list. Thats not something to watch for or work on, it’s just something not to be tolerated. But I see what you meant. Some folks need it on a list, an email, and in order to save life and limb if needed, straight told to their face. All of which often fail 🙁
A big reason for divorce–or, at least, a very unhappy marriage–having a very good chance of becoming part of ones future happens even before the marriage takes place.
What I’m talking about is marrying for “the wrong reasons.”
Some things (and there are even more than these) that would fall under the category of “the wrong reasons” are as follows:
buying into the idea that marriage is something that “good” people do, so you set out to get married because you want to be married instead of because you’ve found someone you want to marry
getting married on the rebound while still carrying the torch for someone else whom you believe you “should” get over and go about “getting on with your life”
getting married to someone of the opposite sex in order to become “healed” from being gay
marrying someone–even while having a gut-feeling that this person isn’t truly “the one”–because all of your friends think that you and this person make such a wonderful couple
marrying someone mainly because you want to keep or create an image of belonging to a certain segment of society, and this person is a means to make this happen
marrying someone because you’ve been together for so long that you’ve already invested too many months/years in the relationship (even if it’s a very bad relationship) just to leave and start over again
getting married because you’re afraid of growing old and lonely
getting married based on some physical characteristic (e.g. large breasts. toned muscles) while not getting to know the person’s personality traits
getting married to someone in hopes of changing him/her to fit your image of the ideal spouse
getting married because you went too far and lost your virginity, so this is the only way to “make it right”
getting married because the two of you have created a child together even though your main interest in each other is more of a lustful nature than a loving nature
getting married because you think there’s something wrong with you NOT to want to marry such a wonderful person–even though your heart is telling you that you aren’t in love with this person but are just in a comfortable, positive, but platonic relationship.
Very, very good points. A big one, for me, is when you mentioned “getting married because you’re afraid of growing old and lonely”. A whole lot of people “fall in love” with someone only because that other person was the only one that reciprocated.
My marriage died by utter neglect. I was neglected in every way you in which you could neglect your “partner”. My then husband against my objections, took a job which was graveyard shift and promised it would only be for a short while. 7 years later of sleeping alone 5 days a week, fallsing asleep the other 2 was hard enough. While never being the most social of all people, he took it to a new level. I ended up socializing by myself. I wrapped Christmas presents by myself, I spent New Years by myself. I couldn’t even get him to take a walk with me because heaven forbid it might mean we run into someone we knew and he had to talk to them, and it always felt as though he were trying to get back home as quickly as possible. It was no picnic and it didn’t stop there.
His ex before me cheated on him and he never dealt with it. Because of his social issues, he internalized everything and I was the one who landed up paying for it, even though I Never stepped outside our marriage, not once. I could not talk about my day because if I mentioned anyone (80% of the people I work with are male) it always meant that there was a “reason” for talking about him or in some cases her.
I never gave him a reason to doubt me. I went to work, I came home. I didn’t go out on weeknights and I didn’t go out on weekends. If I was going to be 10 minutes late because I had to pick something up at the store, I would arrive a few minutes later with whatever I had to pick up. He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and no matter what I did or how long I stayed, it was always there. He was also never fully honest with me. He always tried to tell me what he though I wanted to hear, when all I wanted was the truth. The only time he couldn’t backtrack what he said was when he was put into a verbal corner and he couldn’t talk his way out of what he wanted me to think and he couldn’t put it off for tomorrow.
By the end I was so tired of always having to proove myself. That I wasn’t his ex wife, I was me. That I was here, that I wasn’t cheating on him. That I was so lonely. There was no laughter, no play, no touch, no intimacy and most of all no trust. Any time I put my sex drive into gear I was told that he wasn’t a machine (if I had a nickel every time I heard that). I’m the only woman I know who was told that on her honeymoon.
It’s not like he didn’t know what I was feeling. I can’t count how many times I begged, pleaded, cried to the point of being hysterical telling him exactly how I felt and exactly what I needed. There was no guesswork needed. The only thing I didn’t do was hire a skywriter….
They say how do you know when enough is enough….we all know when we reach our breaking point, and I finally reached mine.
Good Choice, Hope you find a better, loveabler man 🙂
I will always try to balance work & private live. What use is it to have a work where you earn a lot if at the end of the day it destroys your family ?
22 years ago, I was with a man, had a daughter with him, and eventually kicked him out when she was 9 months old due to his drug and alcohol use.
Needless to say, I was devestated as he was the love of my life. Think I got married to someone else because I felt alone and needed someone in my life. I was married for 13 years, together with him for 22. I evenually had a son, 9 years after my daughter was born. My then husband was controlling, emotionally abusive, and a narcisist. I evenually woke up, 13 years later and left him and got a divorce.
Karma does play a HUGE part in my life as my ‘ex’ came back into my life, completely turned around, and made me fall back in love with him.
We are now happily married. I think it took all the issues we both had to finally be together.
Beautiful Story! Thanks for sharing and I truly wish you both God’s greatest blessings…
I ve a married woman who’s husband cheated on her with a woman he was working with twice. This happen at two different jobs and I stayed with him because of the children. I know that’s not a good reason cause I don’t trust him we just there. I always wanted what was best for my children somethimg I never had If they knew their daddy was a low down dirty dog they would tell me to leave his behind. I have put too much in this marriage that’s why I’m still there an besides i put him out and he want leave. So we are just to people trying to find our way back to each other once again.
many waters cannot quench love so says the scripture the problem with man is the rebellion against GOD .that is the problem with todays family structure.
After 35 years of being Married (still) as I see it a lot of couples have the same issues I have.
My work has always required me to travel, now in my position with the company they gladly pay for her to travel with me. After all this time being there to doing our part raising the children and standing by her side always even with her always being the one to go and take care of everyone else for as long as I can remember if anyone her mother, father, aunt, friend or kids called with whatever emergency they had at the time she would go to them no matter what I thought. I have always lived on the hope that this would eventually come to an end as we got older our children grown and all out on their own. I felt it would become our time to be the companions and lovers we have always portrayed ourselves to be. But it seems no matter what she finds a reason not to be with me when I am at work or even stay at our home and take care of some of the things that are required to be done there. She comes to stay with me once in a great while but for the most part she finds a reason to be at the children’s house or her Dads house, So for me it is not just the lack of sex as most believe it to be, I miss the companionship I have worked my whole life to have, which makes you start wondering about finding someone who wants to spend time with you.
You have my sympathy. She sounds passive-aggressive. If I had a husband like you, I would enjoy every waking moment together and certainly be glad for the quality time we shared. Work and other daily life situations take up so much time, you have to set aside one evening a week that is just for you and your significant other to be together. That day and time must be held sacred. Only a death in the family could break that date and it had better be your or the significant other’s funeral.
If you can’t make a date and keep it, then you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Why would you want to continue a marriage where you are taken for granted or not appreciated?
I’m very sorry for your situation and I hope you find the happiness you seek. Have you considered marriage counseling?
Start going out with others and let nature take it’s course. She treats you worse than a watch dog so you have no reason to be guilty about trying to spend your life in a fun and loving way. She certainly knows how to take care of herself so you’re wasting your time worrying about her any longer… Best of luck to you, sir.
No need to hurt someone just to prove your point. I think Charles can try communicating the problem to his wife in a gentle & loving way, asking for counseling too if it fails.. He should pray about the matter, if he believes in Jesus.
I divorced my wife because she was an emotional wreck, i tried to re-assure her up until the day i was tired. It was then i realised i wasn`t cut for emotionally unstable people, highly sensitive people.
Trust me, being in a marriage where everyday you work to re0assure the other person you are not going away, and just one-day with friends watching soccer causes someone to cry and blames you for neglecting her or as if you are maybe bored with her is very frustrating. i was begginig to be frustrated and i opted to separate. yes there was a kid involved but we arranged after sometime. does this mean i had to be more patient??????
More patient? No. It means you should have taken your wife for a medical examinatino with your family doctor and inquired about a psychological exam. Emotional instability can have a physical basis, such as a hormone imbalance, slow thyroid, brain tumor, etc. When the physical causes have been ruled out, psychotherapy to determine if PSTD, depression, etc. is the root cause of a person’s emotional problems. It sounds like your wife lacked self-esteem and suffer from axiety.
Even though you are divorced, you should extend your loving hand and persuade your ex to see her doctor. If not just for her sake, then for the child.
There is no social stigma to get help. People only frown when you need help but refuse to get it.
THIS IS TRUE
I did everything for my ex – I gave up my job to be with him in the Army and looked after our disabled daughter while he went off and did what he wanted to do – football,drinking and being with his mates.Then I found out he had run up 55k on our mortgage AND stolen from our daughter – how low life can you get? He is now shacked up with a moose, he has heart failure…but I am now working full time,( looking after our daughter who is my sanity! ) while he sits on his backside
I hope I am not being rude but did you mean shacked up with a mouse?
I don;t think that we as a society are being taught that both men and women are people and not objects. We forgot that getting to know someone first seemed to have been no longer taught as to why from the previous generation. The media as we see now is certainly not going to teach the current generations either.
what about when you have sex daily with him, help him with the bills, or even pay more than him, have hot figure and pretty face yet he still chooses to f..k some married skank at work because she was willing to spread his legs and he had an opportunity? Made his every fantasy come true and put up with his disgusting, lazy kids yet he still acted like a dog in a heat when I wasn’t around. Guys believe me, its not always about not giving up enough sex, some people are low life’s, free loaders, doesn’t matter what they have at home they will still cheat, lie etc because its just who they are..Dumped his ass, his loser kids are not allowed at my house any more so they can freeload and enjoy everything in my house yet his coworker is still married, now no one even gives him time of the day, while I have guys coming at me from every corner and he wishes he I was still his…what a loser!!its not always not giving up enough sex or being ugly,fat etc…
Sounds like you didn’t respect him anyway.
Women will “take care” of men instead of working on their own lives, hoping he’ll be committed.
Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell us you don’t like him any more?
what if the man think you will never know what he is doing, he said he is going to church and this thim he is with women having sex. And beside that his sisters are finding these women for him, and you are in the home cooking hot meals and washing dishes and cleaning beside shopping, buying grocery and food. and he claims he is busy because he have a stressful job, he is tired and you feeling sorry for him iroing his clothes and doing his laundry.
He only comes home to eat and when it is time to sleep. What do you think about such a husband.Women are not the only one to blame, I came from a decent family background my parents live until death do the parted, and all my relatives is honest and devoted.This particular man works for Bloomberg company and he thinks he have one of the best job on earth, and nobody is like him, he thinks of himself a very superior, and his wife who is very good looking as a dumb,animal,who do not comphrend or understand anything, he will only eat and the lives next door to his mom so after eating he runs over to his mom,
It’s not the kids’ fault. Shame on you for taking your anger out on his children.
Please stop stating how pretty and man’s wife is when he has committed adultery. Tiger’s “gorgeous” wife probably was not sleeping with him. Our culture teaches women that sex is something that will die in a relationship as a couple ages so couples should focus on other compatibility traits which are considered more important to them. Our culture should teach women how important sex is in a relationship to men and without it the relationship can be headed for disaster. If a couple has kids, who in their right mind is going to leave in order to find a new relationship with steady sex. Get real. The man will stay in order to watch his kids grow and have affairs to satisfy what he is not receiving at home. If you had sex while reeling him in. You have to continue in order to keep him. No bull I’m speaking the truth here.
yes withouth sex divorce is there
Yeah….. sex should be at the top of this list. I already have money and companionship.
I’ve been married 32 years. It has not been easy, but its been worth it. I don’t want to think that walking away seems to be so easy, the right thing to do. Money, in-laws, work, death, children, NO MONEY….THINGS HAPPEN. Talking, talking, and more talking…don’t ever walk away without letting your better half know how you feel, it could make or break your marriage by assuming they know how you feel.
Sex is the first reason.
I am a very good lover .. she always has several orgasms every time we have sex … only we do it 4 times a years.
I don’t know why I didn’t dump her earlier … she has been pulling excuses about having sex since day one …
At some point I decided I had enough, met another young lady .. and we are expecting out first baby soon. I had more sex with my new girlfriend before divorcing my wife than I had with my wife in 8 years of marriage.
So stupid ..
I have no regrets
You know what – married 11 years now and beginning to consider my work my life. My wife is a great mother, a good daughter but failing as a wife. I have not cheated on her, but my desires (coupled with the ease to get it out there) are burning. I tell her often, but she is just not understanding hearing the message. Maybe I should give in to temptation. It would be such a waste of years, though.
Think of staying more as just continuing to throw more good money after bad. When our loves abandon us (by not caring to understand anymore about something as important as this), it is time for us to understand and take care of our own needs instead.
Best of luck of luck to you in your soon to be new life.
The biggest reason I see is change. The wife or husband changes, physically, emotionally, mentally, from the person that you married. These changes lead to distrust, disinterest. In my case my wife went from the fun loving, attractive 110 pound girl I married to a bad attitude, 300 pound unattractive (in body and mind) person that I couldn’t stand to be around. There was no communication because of her attitude. There was no sex because of the attitude and her letting herself go. She let me down in many ways.
But if you really want to know what a woman will be like on down life’s road, take a good look at her mother. Scary thought,eh? I should have, didn;t, and regretted it.
I was once told that “Marriage is a wonderful institution, provided you belong in an institution.”
The greatest knot upon the liberty of all European people is the praeterpolitical power of the churches to institute monogamy as an ecclesiastic rule of law, thereby enabling them to determine the legitimacy of the succession of the pagan kings, abrogate the natural rights to property and self-defense, as well as power of ecclesiastic censure for divorce.
The government of men’s external actions by religion, pretending the change of nature in their consecrations cannot be esteemed a work extraordinary, it is no other than a conjuration or incantation, whereby they would have men to believe an alteration of nature that is contrary to the testimony of sight and of all the rest of the senses…
The idea “thou shalt marry and be given in marriage” is corrupt and degenerate, which is an impossible immortality of a kind (i.e., eternal love), but not of the persons of men.
Ecclesiastics would have men believe they will receive condign punishment for their contumacy of monogamy, as opposed to the freedom of the polygamy found in nature, which is inherently pagan.
pointless sophistry that has no basis in reality. do you enjoy seeing yourself in print?
tee hee, Pascal! :)))
So I gather you don’t agree with marriage?
So when she asks you to read her Nursery Rhymes do you wax or wane? (Just curious:)
A huge reason they fail to mention is STEPCHILDREN and exes. Make very sure you can deal with the stepchildren and the ex before saying I Do. It might save you some heartache and sanity in the end.
Very true! In our situation the ex isn’t a problem, and my ex passed away several years ago; but my kids drive us both crazy. We have been to counciling, doctors for my son’s ADHD issues, now social skills classes.He’s irritable and moody. My older son just got out of rehab, and was previously selling drugs, but is showing great progress at this time.
On the other hand his kids couldn’t be more perfect, and are great kids.Why he hasn’t run off and escaped is beyond me! He is loving, loyal and thinks I’m beautiful. He is wonderful to me and good but firm with my problem children.
The ex and stepchildren were instrumental to the demise of my marriage. I did not want to interfere with my ex and his relationship with his children and, for the most part, remained silent. I didnt want to hear later on that I affected his relationship with his children. My failure to communicate my feelings that boundaries should be set as to when and where he saw them. I don’t know if he would have honored them or not. Long story sort, not only was he seeing and entertaining his children, he was entertaining and seeing his ex! After the children reached adulthood, he and ex continued to see and entertain each other. Being fed up with the circumstances, I chose to divorce him. I am sure that they are still talking to and seeing each other! Was it my fault that I didn’t insist on boundaries from the beginning?
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