Some people think that a “perfect couple” never argues, disagrees, or is anything but happy.
This is simply not true. After all, we’re all human!
However, the perfect couple does exist, and you can become it through collaboration, patience, and love.
Follow these five steps for better sex, increased intimacy, and a more general sense of happiness with your partner.
How To Have An Awesome Relationship
1. Talk to your partner
Sit down with your partner to establish goals for both you as individuals and as a couple.
You don’t need to make this a formal meeting complete with an Excel spreadsheet!
Perhaps grab lattes at the local coffee shop and spend some casual time together.
Make sure you are ready to listen and are really open to any ideas from your partner. Most importantly, let them finish their thoughts without interruption.
A perfect couple, both in and out of the bedroom, firmly focuses on communication, so always try to really listen to one another.
Related: 7 Ways to Have Lasting Relationships
2. Put your plan into action
After you and your partner have completed your brainstorming session on new ways to add some spark to your relationship, you should make these thoughts concrete and actionable.
Need help putting your plan into action? Consider using a book such as Carole Gaskell’s “Your Pocket Life Coach: Take 10 Minutes a Day to Transform Your Life and Your Work,” which can help you to efficiently move forward with your action plan.
3. Focus on changes you yourself can make
Some couples focus too much on what they think their partner should be doing or changing instead of reflecting on how they themselves can be the catalyst for change. Trying to change someone is just a recipe for disaster!
Think about what things you can do to contribute to the relationship. Remember that you are half of the equation of the union with your partner.
Whether you want to have better or more frequent sex, more couple time, or new adventures, you need to think about what you can do to make it happen instead of blaming your significant other for any perceived deficiencies.
By being honest with yourself, you might also uncover some of your subconscious faults, which once corrected should allow you to be a better partner and communicator.
4. Enjoy the moment
If you want to have a deeper sexual relationship, it helps to get into a more sensual state of mind. A large part of feeling sexier and living a sexier lifestyle is to always try to slow down and enjoy the moment.
Even if the “moment” is only the thirty minutes you spend together every evening after work and after putting the kids to bed: make that time count.
Related: How to Argue in a Relationship
Take pleasure in the little things, such as savoring a well-cooked meal, taking a relaxing shower together, or even taking turns giving massages.
These types of simple activities can help you to relax and further enjoy time with your partner. They are also multi-sensory experiences which can get you more into a sensual state of mind.
5. Hit the sheets (together!)
While millions of people resolve to exercise more at the beginning of a year, those few who actually do it see an immediate payoff.
Remember that sex is a great way to burn calories, so be sure you put in as much time in the bedroom as you do at the gym for a well-toned and happy body…and a fulfilling relationship.
The perfect couple does exist, but it’s not what you’d think. It’s not about not arguing, but rather about communication and collaboration. These five steps will strengthen your relationship in no time!
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a noted international sexologist, sex educator, author, relationship expert, advice columnist, and television and radio personality. She is also the Astroglide Ambassador for Relationships & Sexual Health and Wellness.
Photo by Sara K Byrne